My Daily Equinox

As winter crept toward us, the air started to crispen while the summer sun lingered, shining on my shoulders as I painted windowsills and weeded the garden. The fall equinox was approaching. I had a sensation that maybe I was supposed to say something profound about how the fall equinox would lead to my burning and rising from the ashes. A phoenix, reborn and ready to face life with new eyes and wings and perspectives on this tragically beautiful world.

But what if my rebirthing is not reserved only for equinoxes or new moons or solstices?

What if my reincarnations, my resurrections, happen every day as I raise tired eyelids and face this world with brave but delicate eyes? Over and over again, morning after morning. If you ask me, real bravery does not take place on momentous occasions, in great battles or wars, or amid life-altering choices and changes. Real bravery lives in our daily motions, in placing one foot in front of the other, in our small moments of gratitude and forgiveness that keep us growing and becoming better versions of ourselves.

Bravery is my left foot and my right foot swinging off my messy morning bed, planting firmly on the cool morning floor as if to say, Maybe something hurts. My hips, my back, my tired heart. Maybe last night, last week, all of last year was painful and hard. But no matter. Now I will rise as if today — this moment, these deep breaths in and out — is all that matters.

We are truly brave when the reality of each moment is something we are willing to embrace without excuses, defenses, or distractions. While walking the Camino I made it a practice to ask myself and others, What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Ask yourself and burn, burn, every day. Do not wait for the seasons to change or for the shining white ball of the moon to mark the beginning and end of a cycle. Give yourself permission. Blow away the ashes of yesterday. Yawn and stretch and feel the parts of your body you have neglected for so long. You are all there. What you can discover when you stop hiding from yourself?